We left Orlando under a rain cloud and to the ironic tune of ‘Sun Is Shining’ playing on the radio. This wasn’t how I had envisaged by birthday to be when I found out we would be in Florida for it. Originally we’d planned to go to one of the Disney water parks to celebrate, followed by a drive down to Miami, but the rain had made sure that wasn’t going to happen. So we decided to head straight to Miami in the hope that the sun would be there to greet us. We weren’t disappointed…

After a three and a half hour journey in weather that couldn’t make up it’s mind, we eventually arrived at the Candlewood Suites. As soon as we stepped out of the car, we were hit with the intense heat. It was 95 degrees and we instantly knew we’d made the right decision. The rest of the afternoon was divided up between lazing on the sun loungers and soaking in the pool.

Candlewood Suites - Miami - Florida

When it eventually came around to having some dinner, Barry suggested that he take me to Hooters to celebrate. I quickly declined. Incase you didn’t know already from previous blogs, I love sushi so sushi was exactly what I wanted on my birthday (and if you didn’t know from previous blogs, I like the Hooters girls! – Bal). He did try to persuade me to Hooters, but I was having none of it. So he gave in and found what was named the best sushi restaurant in Miami – Kamiko Sushi Bar. And like the weather in Miami, it didn’t disappoint. Especially as I washed it down with my favourite wine.

Barry told me later that he had arranged for all the Hooter girls to come and sing me happy birthday and have their photo taken with us. He’d called and booked it all with them in advance. I felt really bad, but I think it would’ve been more of a treat for him than me!

The next day we went to explore Miami. We were staying in Doral, which was about 30 minutes from Miami Beach. There were a lot of road works going on which had created a new layout for the roads. Because of this our sat nav became very confused so we kept missing out turnings. I could hear Barry starting to huff and could almost see steam coming out of his ears. He was getting so annoyed with not being able to get on the right road; he was seconds away from taking us back to the hotel. After paying two tolls to get on and get off a road that we could’ve avoided, we finally managed to get onto the right road and get to Miami Beach. As we drove in, it was exactly how we’d imagined Miami to look. Crystal clear blue seas, white sands and palm tree lined streets.

We parked up right near the shops, where the streets were filled with women carrying ridiculous amounts of shopping bags. If only I had the money to go on a shopping spree! They had all the big names such as Armani, Tommy Hilfiger, Versace and of course Kardashian’s Dash. Being such a fan of the Kardashian clan, I just had to pop in and make a purchase. Their Miami store was a lot nicer than the one in New York. Here, I was approached by a member of staff straight away who introduced himself. As I perused the racks, I noticed everything was a little out of my price range, but not wanting to leave empty handed, I settled for a cool pair of Arthur George socks.

Shopping in DASH - Miami - Florida

After checking out the beach, we made our way to the World Erotic Art Museum. Barry and I aren’t really into art, but as Miami is known for it, we thought we should make an effort to see some. This museum sounded like it would be something different, so we thought we’d give it a go.

The museum housed the collection of Naomi Wilzig, whose son had asked her to find him some erotic pieces of art to decorate his home 20 years ago. She’d always loved collecting antiques and this particular request introduced her to a whole new avenue of collecting. From here she travelled all over the world, collecting erotic art pieces. Sadly, we weren’t allowed to take any photos but I can tell you the place was filled with all sorts of statues, paintings, sculptures and trinkets, all centred around the naked body and sex. I’m normally a bit of a prude, but this museum made you feel like it was normal to see a penis everywhere you looked. There was an ornament with a fake bottom which concealed a giant dildo, a wall filled with different plaster casts of women’s genitalia and a four poster bed where the posts were carved into men’s dangly bits. It was all very bizarre, but perhaps the biggest shocker was when we turned the corner only to be faced with a giant 10 foot tall, four foot wide golden willy.

Barry did manage to sneak two photos, so here is a little taster….

When we left the cool confines of the air-conditioned museum, we were hit with the heat. It was scorching, so not being able to bear to walk around in it, we headed back to the car. On the way back, we drove down Ocean Drive. It runs right next to the sea and is lined with palm trees and posh eateries and of course people roller-blading!

Driving down Miami Beach - Miami - Florida