We wake after a very peaceful nights sleep. Despite the fear of more monsters arriving and attacking us while we sleep! It was a weird feeling this morning. Whilst standing up having a pee (It’s Barry writing this entry today before you all start wondering), the raft was rocking in the wash of boats going past. In doing so made me sway from side to side. It was like I was drunk! I managed to contain all the pee in the toilet with minimal mess. As it’s on a raft, there is no flush. But there is a small bucket and tap next to the toilet.

Today Stef has decided to take us to Sai Yok Noi. The scene of a waterfall she tells me. We make our way to the bus station. Some random man asks us where we are going and he takes us to the counter and explains to the desk staff. People are so helpful here, they don’t just tell you, they show you. You’d just about get a grunt in England. We find out what bus to get and make our way to it. It’s just a small coach and we find some seats. I start to get hot so leave Stef on the bus and have a little wonder for some drinks. I’m accosted by numerous women and men trying to get me on to their buses. God knows where they are going. But who wouldn’t want a tall good-looking westerner on their bus? I find some drinks and also some cheeky fresh pineapple in a bag from a street vendor. It doesn’t come with sugar. No. Instead, it comes with salt and chili powder mixture. Obviously. The bus starts and we head off. The one hour journey I was told seems like a very long one. Anyway, about 2 hours later, we get there.

On our way to the waterfalls of Sai Yok Noi

The entrance is very near to the bus stop. Which is a relief, as I don’t have my phone. Both dying for a pee, we find a bloke selling the use of a couple of holes in the ground for 1p a go. They do have doors though. We really did spend a penny!

off the train at Sai Yok Noi

We walk to the entrance of the waterfall to see some slow water going over a few flat rocks. I look at Stef and she decides to tell me now that the guidebook did describe it more as a creek than a fall. 2 hours to see this!!! My blood starts to boil but I hold it in, as Stef is still not feeling well. I might just punch a small kid when no one is looking. We go further around and, well, it was probably the best waterfall I have ever seen. It was fantastic. There were locals everywhere. With inflatable tires and all sorts. It must be their version of Water Palace!

I really want to go near the waterfall, but in order to do so, we have to manoeuvre through kids and the strong current flowing downhill. I look at Stef and she’s up for it. Sweet. Near the base at the waterfall, we have our picture taken by some foreigners. I decide that I’m going to go under where the waterfall lands. It can’t be tha strong. Can it? Stef holds the camera and I walk in from the side. No one tells you that there is a big hole right under it. I lose my footing and at the same time, get smashed in the face, full strength of the fall. I’m all over the place. I didn’t even know what way was up! I styled it out though. Well that’s what I thought. Luckily Stef was only taking a picture and not a video! I took the video camera in with me and you can see how rough it was by the footage.

We have our photos taken in various places around the fall. We then see a Thai fella pointing at me to his friend. He says something and throws a few hand signals in. They both laugh at me. Mugs.

We dry up and make our way down to the path. We’re crossing a small bridge when all of a sudden I see Stef start vomiting everywhere. Not in a discreet corner – on the bridge, either side of family’s eating their picnics! It’s the first time I think I’ve seen Stef sick when she hasn’t knocked back numerous shots the previous night. Maybe she actually is ill and not just wanting sympathy. There’s sick everywhere. She told me later that she held it in her mouth as long as she could, so you can imagine the pressure and the mess it made on it’s exit. I help her clean herself up (by getting her a towel from the bag. I’m not going anywhere near that sick!). And to show how caring I am, I film the mess.

We decide to get the train back as we don’t know how long the bus would be. I wonder the train trying to find an official to buy some tickets from. Some bloke tells me to follow him so I do. He leads me into this seating area where there are about 6 blokes around a table. It’s not until we’re getting closer when I see that they are all having their well deserved lunches….and all but one are police officers in uniform. Shit. He butts in and starts pointing to me. They all stop eating and start starting at me. They don’t look happy. Double shit. The civilian starts talking to me about the train. I tell him it will wait and apologise for disturbing their meals. He says he’ll find me on the train. I bow down and get the hell out of there!

The train journey home is quite uneventful apart from a couple of incidents. The first being when the train crossed over the DEATH BRIDGE! Comforting name. It seemed like the whole town was out to see the train cross it, probably in the hope that it would live up to its name. We survived. The second incident was the highlight of the day!

There was a Thai family of about 7-8 with 2 young boys with them, one of them being a 10 year old, small fat boy. The train stops and they all get up as if they were getting off. The youngest boy gets off and the family remains on the train and stand around the door chatting. The doors start to close and panic sets in as they realise the lad is on the platform! The grandmother is shouting and puts her foot in the door to stop it. There are no sensors on the door and the door seals itself around her toes. We have a window seat right near the action. It’s amazing. I look out and see fatty standing there. Face like a sad puppy. The train starts to move. He starts to panic and the family is all shouting. He starts to run, keeping up with the train. The train moves faster and his poor chubby little body is doing it’s best to keep up. Seconds later, he gives up and goes and sits down. The family is still shouting. Eventually, well past the station, a train guard comes and the train stops. The doors open and grandma gets her sandal back. They look out the door but it’s probably a 10 foot drop into some bushes. They look down and debate for a few seconds whether to make the leap. But then all run to the back of the train where they exit the back doors. The train starts to move on and we watched the family disappear down the tracks towards the boy. The carriage is full of smiles. Whether it’s because they were all happy the family was reunited or because they are all twisted like me and Stef and thought it was hilarious, I’m not sure!

fat little Thai boy playing Minecraft

The whole incident, at the time, made me really upset and angry – I had my camcorder in my hand the whole time and didn’t film one bit!!!!

Back at the hotel, we sit in the bar that overlooks the river and have a beer. The sun is setting and the view is fantastic. I send a photo to a few people and in return get called a prick by a friend. Nice.

It’s the King’s birthday today and all the people in the bar lit candles and we gathered around a telly watching the celebrations. We didn’t know how long we’d have to stand there listening to the singing, but thankfully it was only a couple of minutes. He’ll be dead soon so it’s good to get in on the action before he goes.

lighting candles for the king of Thailand's birthday