Today we decided to go to the Chiang Mai Night Safari!

But first, there were more important matters at hand. My Samsung Galaxy Note 2!

The phone had been fully submerged in water whilst it was on. Now I’m no technician but I know that’s not good for it. It had been in a bag of rice for days which was handy as there’s bloody loads of it in Thailand! I didn’t have the balls to turn it on so Stef did it.

It worked! Sort of…..

As the battery ran down, I plugged it in but an error message appeared telling me it couldn’t charge. Oh No! Luckily, and this is bloody lucky, there is a Samsung repair centre down the road from our hotel – not just an authorised repairer but actually Samsung! I took it there and handed it to the woman behind the counter. She tried plugging it in but got the same message. While I waited, they stripped it down, replaced the faulty part and handed it back to me with a smile. ALL FOR FREE with no questions asked! I wonder if Apple would do that for one of their iSheeps! Maybe my luck was turning around!

We booked the safari through our hotel, the Dozy House. The park was quite far away but one of the members of staff gave us a lift there, waited for us while we went in AND gave us a lift back. All for about £12!

The colourful entrance to Chiang Mai Night Safari

There wasn’t much to do in the Park. There were two safaris, a tiger show and a light show in a lake.

We headed off to see the killer tiger show. We sat down and waited for it to start. I had my camcorder out in the hope that something tragic would happen and I could make some money off the footage from some Animals From Hell program. Stef told me I was sick in the head.

A Bloke came out and a lion followed. He made it do all these different tricks. Standing on a podium, jumping through hoops and even made it do the Gangnam Style. Which to be honest was better than Stef, Christine Burroughs, Trish Austin and Tulin Enver’s attempts at the dance whilst on holiday in Lanzarote not too long ago!

The lion went back stage and FOUR more came out. It if were to go wrong, now would be the time. 2 small men against 4 hungry tigers – They wouldn’t stand a chance. I was on the edge of my seat for the rest of the show. They made the tigers stand on podiums at the edge of the cage whilst they set the stage up. Every now and again a tiger would wonder off and do it’s own thing. But unfortunately, it would just get sent back to its place. So disappointing. They would make them jump over things and do the slalom whilst other tigers would be underneath it. At one point a slow romantic song came on and a tiger jumped up to the man and they danced together. I know that you see some weird stuff in Thailand, but were we about to see a man and a Tiger become one in the grips of passion? We didn’t and I’ve never seen Stef look so disappointed….

A man dancing with a tiger

The show finished and there were no fatalities.

A night time shot of the lake in Chiang Mai

We had a few minutes to wait until the first of two safaris started so we watched some dancers. I had my picture taken with a lady boy and girl. The girls pinched my bum… well, hopefully it was her!

The night safari was good. It was an open sided bus. As we went around, the animals would just come up and stick their heads through. There were big hogs, zebras, deer and even giraffes! You could purchase fruit and veg to feed them. It was amazing to have giraffes that close to you and actually take a banana out of your hand. Their tongues are about a foot long! As the bus went on, there were loads of other animals slightly back off the path and in their own little fenced off areas. A few lions, elephants, hyenas, rhinos and even a couple of bears. It was all at night so you didn’t really see them until the tour guide shone the high beam torch at them. I always wondered if animals act the same if humans are not around. Not once did she surprise an animal with the torch and it was having a cheeky fag or playing a game of cards.

I guess they do act the same…..